The New Me II

Hola again! This is the second part of my previous post and I want to share my stories about my....
lovelife.

Ok (pake bahasa aja ya haha-_-) jadi gue jadian tanggal 16nov2010. Agak gak disangka sih awalnya,
kayak aneh aja. First of all, dulu pas gue masih kelas 10 entah kenapa gue gakpernah ngeliat dia haha eventhough he's a bit popular
Which I'm not. So I could understand if he never saw me or even hear my name.

I love him. I know it sounds cheesy or whatev but yeah I mean it. Kadang gue jg ngerasa gue gakpantes
buat dia. Like you know he is kind, smart, popular. I know that he's not like super charming, but
He's kind and that's enough for me. Let's compare to me. I'm terribly shy, anti-social, not smart, always
moaning hhhh I just can't help it!! Its like I was born with those. And what I hate the most about
myself is....that I can't socialize.

I want to have a large group of friends. I want to have a beautiful moment of highschool. BirthdayBash.
Sleepover with friends. The thing is I'm not really that type. I'm more a family person. I do have friends
But my friends now in their own world. Different life. I feel lonely. I know that I'm now have a boyf but
If I tell him my problems it'll sounds pathetic. I am pathetic. I always get jealous to see other girls having
Their nightouts, shopping, chatting, taking photos......and me? I walk alone at the mall, admiring stuffs
That I can't buy, sitting in the corner of a bookstore reading kids novels, being stared by the happy teenagers,
And crying. I love to cry honestly. I look tough on the outside but inside? I'm suffering. But I love
Being alone. Its peaceful. But sometimes being shy sucks. People stared at you and its like they
Say "say something, please!" Its tiring. I'm tired. I wish I can handle this.

Sorry for complaining again (but probably no one wants to read this) thankyou and I hope
"He" can brighten up my days :') haha thank God he doesn't know this blog
He just read my Tumblr. Once I write a text post and said that "ew haha knp curhat di blog haha"
-___-" crap ok people bonnuit! Hv a good satnite ;)