Everything's not lost

Here I am. Sitting alone again in my room. Thinking about my latest problem. The problem is that I have to break up with my boyfriend. It's not like we often argue or fight or else. It's our parents. Well mostly his parents, especially his mom. I and my family can't stand her attitude, her way of life, etc. She's often mock my family with her viper's mouth. What a pity. I know that she's rich and success in her business but she's not a loving type. I bet her people just afraid of her, not like her. I don't mean to judge her, I only interpret the way I see her or her appearance. People often say "Don't judge a book by its cover" well I'm sorry but I don't agree with that. We don't have to know their lives, those are not our business. We had enough of our (or perhaps me) life's problems. Appearance reflects everything. In life, people WILL judge you no matter what, and unconsciously. Sucks, right? The point is....I hate her. Simple as that. What kind of mom who mocks her children? I know sometimes your children pisses you off but you shouldn't treat them as your slave or strangers that is just inhuman. You have to help your child choose the best option. Also when your child asks you "Why?" you have to give a concrete reason and not answering "because I said so". Such a pity. Pathetic. Sorry for posting raging post hhhh it has been a rough week.

Messy

Bismillahirrahmanirahim kali ini gue mau membahas sebuah topik...........topik yang sangat EW..........ready? k.....set......go!



-LOVE-

Jijik ga? wkwkwkwk parah gue jijik loh bacanya aja udh geli sendiri rasanya cuma mau backspace doang. Agak jarang sih gue ngepost ginian tp yak gue emg sering galau tapi akhir2 ini gue mau numpahin sama debat juga

Ngiri gaksih kalo misalnya lo lagi jalan di Mall apa ya nongkrong2 di sekolah terus ngeliat orang2 naracap gitu trs kalo di sekolah pas istirahat cewe2 pada disamperin cowonya haha sempet sih ngiri tapi cuma instan doang

kenapa ya?

Karena sejujurnya bagi gue naracap itu enak pas pdkt sama awal2nya doang kalo udh 2-3 bulan mulai kerasa tuh gaenaknya. Lucu ya padahal gue baru naracap sekali lgs soktau hehehe. Awal2 tuh seru bgt ya ada yg merhatiin, dibecandain terus, ditemenin ya macam2 gtlaaah beh tapi nih ye kalo udh agak lamaan pas kita udah tau jeleknya si doi mulai dah tuh bosen atau kesel.

Gue akuin gue orangnya rada egois. Misal, gue jadian sama orang terus gue tuh gamau repot sama dia contoh dandan cantik karena dia atau nurutin kemauan dia karena gue beranggapan kyk lo yang mau sm gue kenapa gue yang repot? Mungkin emang pas itu gue belom cinta parah kaliya jadi gue gatau rasanya tp setelah gue putus ya mulai kerasa tuh sedihnya aneh lah pokoknya rada kompleks. So i thought mungkin belom saatnya gue naracap haha

Gue juga kadang suka mikir "gilaaa nih cewe udah dibuat nangis berkali2 tetep aja nempel gue mah ogah" wkwkwk hebat ye walaupun gue tau mereka juga bakal putus. tuhkan bener hal kayak ginian tuh ribet coyyy mending hts-an aje lbh awet wkwkwk gue ketawa mulu dah-__-
kadang bahkan gue juga suka iri loh sama pasangan #saelah yang awet parah bener2 udh bisa maklumin kekurangan masing2 kayak woooowww kapan gue bisa kyk gitu.

Malah juga sempet kepikiran untuk ngerencanain masa depan gue seperti ini:

1. Beli Apartemen di pusat kota
2. Jadi orang sukses
3. Not married
4. Adopt a child
5. Have a pet

Can you imagine how simple yet perfect that's gonna be? Tapi gue juga tau konsekuensinya. Gue bakal ngerasa sendirian. Gue tau setiap kesuksesan pasti ada pengorbanan. Kayak misalnya gue bakal sukses di masa depan tapi gue gapunya siapa2 (sedih amat....) Jadi gue masih di tengah-tengah...masih bingung....masih galau lah istilahnya. Jadi yaa gue coba mengikuti alur kehidupan aja (dlm masalah lovelife #eaaa) You can't hurry love, u know? haha jadi ya if it's meant to be, it will be :-)

Maap yeee kalo curhat parah lagi gaada kerjaan sih wqwqwqwqw, bye bloggie!

xx,


Manda

Changing

Udah sekitar sebulan gue nggak ngepost dan ya skrg gue mau ngepost lagi. Kali ini situasi gue lagi susah dan gue pengen menumpahkan kegelisahan gue ke blog ini haha.

Untuk kali ini kayaknya gue mau nulis pake bahasa indo aja agak belibet kalo pake inggris wkwkwk sama males juga sih okyakstopbasabasinya :P

Gue kemaren lebaran ke Solo, Jogja, dan Bali. Udah lumayan lama gue nggak mudik dan akhirnya gue bertemu lagi dengan sanak saudara haha. Mereka berubah total! Ada yang tadinya tomboy parah sekarang jadi cantik terus punya pacar lagi salut! Ada juga yang tadinya cantik genit gitu skrg jadi tomboy trss pendiem. Banyak yang berubah tapi gue ngerasa diri gue sama aja. Banyak sih yang bilang gue gendutan (dulu gue kurus paraaah) dan ya gue emang skrg 'berisi' ada juga yang bilang gue putihan trs cantikkan wkwkwkwk maaciiii;* haha berkat obat muka pemberian mamake!

Ya pokoknya gue bersyukur lah taun ini bisa lebaran lagi bareng sodara2 gue, bisa ngeliat perubahan mereka, dapet angpao jugaaa #eh hahaha

Hari ini hari rabu dan besok udah mulai sekolah lagi. Aaaargggh males bgttt rasanya mau di rumah aja tapi udah kelas 3 bosss kalidee bolos mulu pdhl emak nyuruh bolos ae. Ada gosip besok cuma halal bi halal doang tapi sejak kelas 3 gue paranoid parah! takut banget kalo bakal ketinggalan pelajaran dan sebenernya itu bagus sih tapi gue takutnya kayak awal2nya doang gue bagus tapi akhir2nya menurun (ngerti kan?) jadiiiii gue bingung....apa galau.....bisa dibilang 22nya. Namanya juga remaja ye mau dikata apa~

Gue bener-bener harus berjuang banget nih buat masuk SBM ITB harus ngubah rutinitas gue juga dari yg tadinya pulsek langsung nonton skg udah hrs istirahat/les hoammmm tapi demi masa depan terjamin yegak? Siapapun yang baca post ini pleeaaaase I'm begging you doain gue biar taun depan gue bisa masuk SBM ITB whoever you are, wherever you are, whenever you are #saelah gue doain jugaaa biar sukses dunia&akhirat deh! Amiiiin Ya Rabbal 'Alamiiin :-D

Metyaw gue curhat abissss btw pembantu gue gak ada yang balik masa ha ha ha jadi rumah repot trs juga makan seadanya, beres2 rumah haaaahhh mana kepikiran nyari sponsor buat acara sekolah kaco dah pikiran gue meletus lama-lama yak lebay

Sebenernya gue mau bahas 1 topik nih tapi di post-an baru deh yak biar lbh fokus gt haha

PLEEEAAAASE SIAPAPUN DOAIN GUE PLISSSS :""" BIAR TAUN DEPAN GUE SUKSES, DAPET UNDANGAN, MASUK ITB AMIIIIIN!!! :-D

xx,

Manda

Welcoming Senior Year!

OMG can you believe it? I'm now a senior! wihihi padahal kerasanya baru kemaren gue masuk SMA. And this sunday is the last day of holiday and also Syukuran buat Obin hahaha

Alhamdulillah gue sekarang udah kelas XII. Dan gue mendapatkan kelas XII IPA B (be nice to me, guys haha) But unfortunately, gue gak sekelas sama doi gue. Tapi kelas doi sebelah gue ha ha ha....gue sekelas sama bbrp anak2 yg sekelas sm gue pas kelas 11 dan jablun2 semua wakakakakkakakak

setelah gue amati daftar anak2 yg sekelas sama gue and boom! ANAK2NYA PINTER SEMUA COOYYYYY #tiduryuk anjiiiir masa depan gue gimenong iniiiiii duh mudah2an nilai gue membaik deh taun ini&taun depan dapat undangan AMIIIIIN dan yang terpenting lagi keterima SBM ITB AMIIIIIIIN YA RABBAL 'ALAMIN!!!! WISH ME LUCK GUUUYYYSSSS :D

Udah H-3 dan gue belom beli buku apa2 jengjengjeeeeng dan belom ada persiapan apapunnnn....au de nasib gue begimana. oh btw my holiday pretty sucks. tapi kemaren sih abis reuni2 sama DVTR wuwuwuwu miss you all!!! pengen ketemyu lageeeee. Ada Nashir juga lho!! ihihihihi mana dia udah jadian pula wkwkwkwkwk sir sir tambah gede aje lu.....

The Battle begins on Monday sooo wish me luck bloggers!! i have to work my ass off ryt naoooo biar masa depan gue cerah dan bisa membanggakan kedua ortu gue AMIIIIN!!

Bye all! T.G.I.F!!! ;D

Past

Hello again Bloggers....phew it has been FOREVER since i updated the previous post. I'M REALLY SORRY(pdhl gaada yg ngikutin blog gue, oh well)

Past

So, where do i begin? it has been about 3 months since i broke up. I'm not really good at handling relationships. Maybe i'm too errr....self-centered. I don't give a damn at anyone's business. Even if they're attached to me. Relationships are messy and i don't know if I'm ready for that so i think i might be on my own for awhile.

Next, my grades. DUDE MY SCORES ARE HORRIBLE. i cried. i feel really stupid. High school is waaaaay different than Junior High School. It's a lot harder than i thought. Insyaallah, in the Senior year i'll make that up. I'm too lazy, and "mager" haha. Like 2 days ago my grades results are given to my parents. And i blew up the scores. I'm so tired looking at my parent's expressions when my report cards are given. And they were like "oh..." with the sad sad face. It killed me. I promise Mom, Dad, i'll make you proud. I swear I will.

After that is.....Goodbye XI IPA A. It had been such a wonderful year to me. I'll miss those dirty talks haha and the nonsense ones. I will miss you all guys really! Though I'm not the active ones, but still ;)

The last one is da big one!! Ready??? Ummm...hey "X". I've been falling for you since the first day of sophomore year. And maybe....i'll never stop. I'll miss everything about you. How you walk, how you smile, how you laugh. everything. and it kills me that i have no chance to tell you this. but probably you might know that i'm into you. i always blush when i'm near you. damn. so...i'm wishing you the very best :-) and i'm in the mood of melancholy-mood so i'm gonna say this poet. It's called "Having a Coke with You" by Frank O' Hara. So, here it is...

Having a Coke with You

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

And that's all, bye! (the only place i can be "Galau" is here so yeah-__-)