Past
So, where do i begin? it has been about 3 months since i broke up. I'm not really good at handling relationships. Maybe i'm too errr....self-centered. I don't give a damn at anyone's business. Even if they're attached to me. Relationships are messy and i don't know if I'm ready for that so i think i might be on my own for awhile.
Next, my grades. DUDE MY SCORES ARE HORRIBLE. i cried. i feel really stupid. High school is waaaaay different than Junior High School. It's a lot harder than i thought. Insyaallah, in the Senior year i'll make that up. I'm too lazy, and "mager" haha. Like 2 days ago my grades results are given to my parents. And i blew up the scores. I'm so tired looking at my parent's expressions when my report cards are given. And they were like "oh..." with the sad sad face. It killed me. I promise Mom, Dad, i'll make you proud. I swear I will.
After that is.....Goodbye XI IPA A. It had been such a wonderful year to me. I'll miss those dirty talks haha and the nonsense ones. I will miss you all guys really! Though I'm not the active ones, but still ;)
The last one is da big one!! Ready??? Ummm...hey "X". I've been falling for you since the first day of sophomore year. And maybe....i'll never stop. I'll miss everything about you. How you walk, how you smile, how you laugh. everything. and it kills me that i have no chance to tell you this. but probably you might know that i'm into you. i always blush when i'm near you. damn. so...i'm wishing you the very best :-) and i'm in the mood of melancholy-mood so i'm gonna say this poet. It's called "Having a Coke with You" by Frank O' Hara. So, here it is...
Having a Coke with You
is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles
and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them
I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse
it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it
And that's all, bye! (the only place i can be "Galau" is here so yeah-__-)
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